Los Altos Rotary Club Home of the Annual Rotary Fine Art Show June 30, 2011

In show business they call it a roast, but we call it a kick out. While a roast is usually a complete embarrassment with vulgar jokes that get boring after a minute, today’s kick out of past president DENNIS YOUNG was done in taste with minimum torture. 

Lasting 45 minutes, the roastee stayed cool, kept quiet but seldom smiled.  He was at the mercy of PP TRACIE MURRAY, the previous year’s president and current harasser who stated, “Together we can do this.”  

With a baseball atmosphere, each table had a plastic centerpiece that shimmied with paper baseballs resembling the president’s theme for the year. Also included was an 8 by 12 pictures of DENNIS glued to a tongue depressor that were meant to be held in front of each person’s face when the program started.

Before the show started, PAUL SCHUTZ, BONNIE BURDETT and JEANNE MacVICAR were the lobby greeters welcoming faces they seldom see during the year, but come for laughs at kick out time.

Hats ON Salute to Dennis

As President DENNIS took the gavel to start the meeting and banged the bell, PP TRACIE announced, “You are kicked out, so go and sit down.”  Following the instructions from TRACIE, members who achieved president class donned their Rotary baseball cap to honor DENNIS, but took them off as DENNIS led the salute to the flag.

KENDRA GJERSETH provided the thought for the day and the lampooning started.

As an accountant, DENNIS was, “… someone who solves a problem he didn’t know he had in a way you don’t understand”. 

And –“What does an accountant use for birth control? - His personality”.

And the jokes at Dennis’ expense followed with each roaster and they can all be found on the Internet. Just hit “Humor for accountants” or “Humor for the IRS.”

Continuing, PE JOHN SYLVESTER led us in a song he authored new lyrics in Dennis’ honor and all sang it to the tune of A Bicycle Built for Two; “Dennis, Dennis, Give us your answer do, Are you finished? We’ve grown tired of you” ,etc.

When TRACIE asked for introductions, visiting JIM CONWAY, former Los Altos Rotarian was acknowledged along with two visiting Rotarians from Mountain View and Palo Alto who stood up.

Rotarians with guests were: DICK HENNING, TRACIE MURRAY, SAM PESNER, ROY LAVE, GEORGE STAFFORD, DAN O’DONNELL, MARLIS McALLISTER and STEVE BIANCHI.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Announcements were scarce only PP TRACIE providing our instructions for the official kick out dinner Friday night at the Los Altos Golf and Country Club. “Cocktails start at 6:30 p.m.”

MIKE SPENCE, a competing accountant, got in a few digs about the accounting profession including a couple of facetious questions and answers about bean counting.

FINING

JERRY MOISON acted as fine master for the occasion and asked questions about DENNIS and accounting. Questions asked were: “What is the definition of an accountant? What is an auditor, and ten reasons to be an accountant with individual comments from JOHN SYLVESTER, BONNIE BURDETT and CRYSTA KRAMES.

The highlight of the kick out was a song and dance titled “I Can’t Get No: Tax Deductions” with AL DIAZ  acting as Cheap Richards, leading his six dancing maidens with two mute guitars as the Rolling Stone Wanna Be’s, the Bean Counters. Complete with white shirts, red ties, and accountant visors, the singing and dancing Bean Counters were ANNE ARJANI (Kidney Bean), MONA ARMISTEAD (Refried Bean), CINDY LUEDTKE (Pinto Bean), BONNIE BURDETT (Jelly Belly), ABBEY AHRENS (Garbanzo Bean) and BEVERLY TUCKER (Lima Bean).   And, they sang in unison. “Hey, hey, hey, that’s what I say.”

After another bean counter episode with MIKE SPENCE, we watched a video with famous Accountants in History and another video on “This is your life Dennis Young.” The varied commentary by PP TRACIE MURRAY was an exercise in speech delivery using both male and female voice alliterations.

For the last 20 years Rotary Club President DENNIS YOUNG has been the official Santa Claus at the Festival of Lights Parade sitting high on the sleigh waving to the joyous kids along the parade route. Naturally JERRY MOISON claimed DENNIS was acting unlawfully by impersonating the jolly old self.  He was presented with an official union card and warned to abide by the Santa Code.

JACK KELLY had his share of tomfoolery as Father Francis Flannigan tracked famous alumni that included DENNIS who was awarded an MBA and passed his CPA on the first try. He could have done better if he used…….  And JACK KELLY pulled out an antiquated slide rule that was used during the 1920s.

A break from the hilarious antics had SAM PESNER and JEANNE MacVICAR singing her baseball parody song, “Take me out to Park Shoup.” Followed by a parting gift to DENNIS: Wrapped in black paper with colored ribbon, DENNIS opened a Aubrey Huff Bobble Head that included a red thong Huff wore during last year’s pennant chase. It wasn’t determined whether the thong was authentic.

The final video was titled “We Remember” with a multitude of photos including the picture of every Rotarian member in DENNIS’ year as president.  Included in the remembrance was a tribute to recently departed members JOANNE BYRNE, BRUCE CANN and LEN McBIRNEY.

In closing, DENNIS said his remarks would be expressed at the official kick out Friday night because we had a great year.   “We received a Presidential Citation with Distinction from the District because of the 72 members in the club.   It’s because our members were involved.”  He pledged, as a soon to be past president, he would continue to participate in this great club.

DENNIS accepted his deserved award with a standing applause from every member in the club.  The meeting was over at 1:12 p.m.

See the Special Edition Rotator for the July 1 Kick Out at Los Altos Golf and Country Club

THIS THURSDAY'S PROGRAM:

Club Assembly - President Mona Armistead