Los Altos Rotary Club Home of the Annual Rotary Fine Art Show June 25th, 2009

NANCY DUNAWAY and Past President MARLENE greeted guests at the door while a great pre-meeting slide show recalled the happy smiles and events of this Rotary year.

Ah, it was a fine day to kick out a LARC President, and we did it with plenty of fines (all in good fellowship).
 
 
 
JOHN SYLVESTER led his updated version of “Bye, Bye Blackbird” which became:

SETH is out, he’s done his year
July first is pretty near.
Bye, Bye MANNING.
 
We won’t have him to kick around.
His term of office has run down.
Bye, Bye MANNING.
 
Many people ask if he will miss it.
If he will, he probably won’t admit it.
 
Time to send him on his way.
His time is up, he’s had his day.
MANNING, Bye, Bye.

PAST PRESIDENT JOHN MOSS took over the mike, sat SETH down to take his medicine, and noted that President-Elect TRACIE was not present. She was actually in the air, returning from the exciting Rotary International Convention in Birmingham, England.
 
GUESTS were numerous today, including visiting Rotarians Ed Sanders of Pleasanton Downtown, Judy Hanneman of Mountain View, and Mike of Palo Alto University who is also MIKE SPENCE’S CPA partner.

Word must be spreading about LARC, because we had seven guests today: Marilyn and Scott Manning (guess whose guests), Mike Stanley (guest of MIKE ABRAMS), Jean McFall (CAREW’S better half), Guillaume Petersen (ALLART LIGTENBERG), Michael Welsh (JOHN CARDOZA), Lisa Harlow (JOANNA MEDIN), and Abby Ahrens (VAL CARPENTER).
 
ANNOUNCEMENTS
KENDRA GJERSETH thanked all for supporting Relay for Life which raised $5,000 from LARC members and $180,000 total thus far. We have one month longer to write checks to the American Cancer Society and give them to Kendra.

President-Elect-Nominee DENNIS YOUNG invited Red Badgers to attend the LAREF (Los Altos Rotary Endowment Fund) meeting on Wednesday, July 8 (though meetings are usually the first Thursday of the month) at 5:15 in his office, RSM McGladrey Silicon Valley.

LOUIS WELLMEIER announced the Concours d’Elegance at Stanford University on June 28.

 The twentieth new LARC member this year, AILEEN LOW, sponsored by STEVE YARBROUGH, was inducted by Membership Director JOHN CARDOZA. Under John’s leadership, the Membership Committee has produced a wonderful team of new Red Badgers this year.

 For those of you who didn’t notice during today’s Ten Minute Speech, SETH’s appearance has changed lately. He looked a lot like JACK/Seth KELLY who gloated that “the reign of SETH (a second dynasty Egyptian Pharaoh) is finally over” and that SETH’s name means “powerful in heart”. For the second year, JACK has been developing real expertise at impersonating past presidents. We were reminded of SETH’s clothing decorum (or lack thereof) because he was seen wearing cut-offs and a bare midriff. Though the Club bought a car and gave it away to El Camino Hospital’s Road Runners, SETH couldn’t seem to keep his own car which was towed (with a hefty fine) from an illegal parking spot at the Art Show.

It seems that Pres SETH changed names when he moved to California. According to Past President SAM PESNER, all the “good” Michigan names such as Archie were already taken, so when SETH dropped FRANK, his middle name, he started using SETH, his first and his father’s name.
 
Fine Mistress Past President CINDY LUEDTKE gave us plenty to laugh about when she donned her chef’s hat and apron as Marie (her middle name) the Wilderness Chef while she sat SETH down at the campfire to roast his frankfurter, continuing the “Frank” jokes. Periodically she reminded him how to “properly roast a weenie”. “Today is definitely a turkey frank day, but don’t worry, they’re all the same size.” From somewhere in the audience came the cry, “Remember, size isn’t everything!” She later warned roaster/roastee SETH, “Get it out of the fire, honey; you don’t want it to shrivel up.” SETH bounced back with a one-liner: “The easiest thing to cook is barbecued charcoal.”
 
After fining herself $25 for not working (or wearing panty hose) for one full year, CINDY called for volunteers who were not yet in the President’s Club. WARD WILDANGER crowed that he had climbed Half Dome for the fifth time, and arrived ahead of his younger buddies. ($50, thank you).  STUART BOWEN paid $12 in honor of his 12th wedding anniversary. CHUCK LINDAUER also paid up for his anniversary. Past President MARLENE offered to pay for the wilderness chef’s services at her daughter’s upcoming wedding reception. STEVE YARBROUGH avowed that he had written last week’s Rotator late because he was at the beach surfing with his old “hot dogger” friends at their 40th reunion.
 
CINDY continued collecting bucks on the theme of Famous Franks. FRANK VERLOT remembered our caterer Frank Schumann. BILL BALSON paid for not remembering a film director of the 30s and 40s as Frank Capra. STUART BOWEN was nicked for not remembering the author of “Dune” Frank Herbert. JOANNE KAVALARIS remembered Frank Serpico as the 1973 NYC cop movie. DENNIS YOUNG remembered the “Chairman of the Board” as Frank Sinatra. . LARRY CHU JR. even remembered that the voice of Miss Piggy and Yoda was Frank Oz. Where did you find these questions, Chef Luedtke?
 
Since no speaker had showed up, JOHN SINES volunteered to wing it at the mike, saying, “I’ve always got a speech ready to go!” Fortunately we didn’t get the pleasure of his 30 minutes of golf swing slides, as explorer CAREW MCFALL wandered into the room, complete with safari hat, rolled up pants, and butterfly net.  He was searching for the elusive Michigander. JOHN offered use of his research computer while trying to remember the name of the Michigander on the Rotary basketball team who was “short, plump, but very clean.”

STEVE “roll ‘em through the legs” ANDERSON remembered a Michigander on the baseball team who had offered plenty of advice to other players, though he couldn’t hit the ball.

ROY LAVE remembered a Michigander who was born in Ionia, Michigan, wanted to be a Wolverine, and met a professor’s daughter who made a dramatic shift in his life, and who was also “short, plump, and very clean.”

SCOTT CHASE remembered one from Michigan with Chippewa blood, though Chippewa’s are now extinct. Finally the computer came up with a poster of the elusive Michigander: there was our outgoing President SETH kissing a lion (showing his Rotary pride, perhaps).
 

Past President SAM PESNER acknowledged that it’s not true Pres SETH flunked out of joke school in Michigan, and of course SAM immediately supplied a few Michigander jokes to prove it. “How do you get a Michigan grad off your front porch? Pay for the pizza.” 

And finally, “The Michigan optometrist’s wife sobbed, ‘I’m getting old and saggy. Won’t you give me a compliment?’ Whereas her husband offered, ‘But your vision is 20/20.’”
 
The meeting was adjourned at 1:10 pm, and as Chef CINDY had announced to ALMOST PAST PRESIDENT SETH, “My dear, I think you’ve been roasted!”

Additional Michigander Q&A jokes:
Q:  Why do the University of Michigan grads hang their diplomas from the rearview mirror?
A:  So they can park in the handicapped spaces.
Q:  How many Michigan freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:  None, it's a sophomore course.
 
The other Michigander jokes:
Once upon a time, there was a season when neither Ohio State nor Michigan made a post-season bowl game. It seemed so unusual that the teams figured there should be some sort of competition anyway. So they got together and decided on a week-long ice-fishing competition. On the first day, Ohio State caught 100 fish and Michigan caught none. On the second day, Ohio State had caught 200 fish and Michigan still had zero. The Michigan coach, suspecting cheating, dressed one of his players in scarlet and gray and sent him to the Ohio State camp to act as a spy. At the end of the day, the player came back to the report.
"Are they cheating?" asked the coach.
"They sure are," the player said. "They're cutting holes in the ice!"
And…
 
A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in the long
line of judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were
allowed to march right through the pearly gates into Heaven. Others though,
were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every
so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would
toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.
 
After watching Satan do this several times the fellow's curiosity got
the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was
doing.
"Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for
judgment, but I couldn't help wondering. Why are you tossing those
people aside instead of flinging them into the Fires of Hell with the
others?"
 
"Ah, those....." Satan said with a groan. "They're all from Michigan.
They're still too cold and wet to burn."

The Puns:
            I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
 
            The short fortune teller who escaped from prison is a short medium at large.
 
            When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
 
The jokes:
 
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, Do you know her?” “Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My gosh,” says my wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”
 

 KICKOUT DINNER by Matt Cabot and photos by JERRY TOMANEK

As tradition has it, the Kickout Luncheon is followed the following Friday night with the official Kickout Dinner.  Many dignitaries were there, including the Assistant Governor Area 9, Arley Marley, husband of our own MARY MARLEY, many Past LARC Presidents, along with husbands and wives of LARC members.

Our current board was thanked, and our new board was introduced.  PP JOHN MOSS (looking very much like PP SAM PESNER) ran the meeting with is usual joke infused manner.  No wait, that was PP Sam.  Below are some pictures taken by our ever present photographer, JERRY TOMANEK.  He caught the essence of the dinner quite well, I thought.  Even the tentative now President TRACIE MURRY's swipe at the bell, ending the festivities. 

For an unprecedented 2nd time, PP SAM PESNER was chosen by (now) Past President SETH MANNING as Rotarian of the Year.

Incidentally, you might notice below that HERB MARSHALL's wife, Lorraine has a glowing smile.  Maybe they have a secret.  Maybe the next time HERB is at a meeting, the finemaster should ask him why his wife is smiling so much.

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