Los Altos Rotary Club Home of the Annual Rotary Fine Art Show December 11th, 2008

Members were enthusiastically greeted by NANCY DUNAWAY and MICHAEL STADLEN before they endured WYATT ALLEN’S weekly shake-down for admission.  President SETH MANNING brought the meeting to order precisely at 12:15:35PM.  PP DUDE ANGUIS led the Pledge of Allegiance.  PAUL SCHUTZ shared a Will Roger’s quote as the Thought of the Day.

VAL CARPENTER introduced us to a catchy Christmas song called “Jingle Bells”.  This reporter predicts the song has legs and will be a hit this Christmas.  It’s gonna be a hit!  Mark my words! 
Besides two visiting Rotarians with a guest from the San Francisco Rotary, MARLIS MCALLISTER, BOB ADAMS, and VAL CARPENTER each brought guests.  JOHN CARDOZA showed his appreciation for these contributions toward increasing membership, by presenting each of them with a $50 gift certificate to Vino Locale.  He then advised that because tasting room gives generous pours of good wine, it is a great place for members to fish for guests to bring to next week’s meeting.  Keep those gift certificates coming!

JOHN CARDOZA then gave a warm introduction to the club’s new members: GEORGE ZETINA, who was sponsored by PP JACK HEIDMILLER and TATYANA KANZAVELI, who was sponsored by VAL CARPENTER.  Both managed to be pinned with their new red badges without their blood being drawn, and were presented with Rotary’s 50th anniversary book and the Los Altos Story DVD.  They were then warmly welcomed to the club by a rousing standing ovation and were instructed to drink from the club’s “Silver Chalice of Membership”.  

Pledge Master, MEL KAHN, initiated their grueling six month hazing period as new pledges, by ordering them to clear dirty dishes and glasses from the tables.  Members are reminded to send requests for household cleaning to Mel, who will then coordinate their assignments.  Mel asks that you do not keep new pledges past 11PM. 

At the meeting’s Fining Ceremony, STEVE YARBROUGH demonstrated his honed ability as a litigator, to confuse and intimidate.  Surprisingly, nobody could provide the Aramaic equivalent to the words he provided in English.  It looked like Steve had met his match when MARY PROCHNOW named 5 of the 7 members of the California State Supreme Court.  Good job, Mary!  Steve then decreed that those not visibly wearing their rotary pins owe $2, and announced that the Finemaster’s powers have been expanded beyond the Garden House. 

Beginning on Friday, December 12, 2008, the Finemaster (he wouldn’t identify next week’s Finemaster) will have the authority to fine any member he/she observes who is not wearing their Rotary pin in Los Altos.  The fines will be announced and collected at the following week’s Fining Ceremony. 

Congratulations to SANDY BOZICH!  After running her optometric practice for 17 years, she has decided to sell it.  Sandy tells us she sold it to a nice family, who has offered three free eye examinations to club members.     

GREG DABB announced a party he is throwing for women between 5-7pm.   He is raising money to support an organization of impoverished Ugandan women called “Bread for Life”.  He then passed around some samples of how they raise money: jewelry they make out of everyday objects.  Greg then offered to give LARRY CHU some money because he finds Larry to be “Movie-Star Handsome”.   

CLYDE NOEL, who is involved with the History Museum, highly recommends members attend its current program, Trains Mean Business. 

President Seth then addressed the ongoing inability for red badgers to get to know blue badgers, and has ordered each blue badge table to host a “token” red badger in all future meetings.  Evidently, some blue badgers strongly prefer to sit with the same group every week, and have prevented any red badgers from disrupting their group by “saving seats” and threatening injury to red badgers that approach their table.  Bad form, don’t you think?

DAVID SMITH, Director of Community Service, announced the donation of a 4-cylinder Ford Focus with leather seats to the Road Runners – volunteers who provide transport for those in need in Los Altos.  David mentioned that the Roadrunner ranks are thin, and asked for volunteers to help.  JERRY MOISON suggested that the volunteer problem will disappear if the club allocates some funds to alter the car by painting flames down its side, installing a loud sound system, and announcing to Los Altos High that drivers are needed. 

The Board of Directors then provided updates on their respective departments.   Membership Director, JOHN CARDOZA, reported that, although membership stands at 154, more are welcome.  He suggested that members take advantage of the chapter’s “free lunch coupons”, and use them to lure prospects to future meetings.  He added that the coupons have successfully led many people to visit the Shoup Park Garden House after being distributed at the Los Altos Grill and incorrectly identified as “free drink tickets”.  If only Los Altos Grill opened before noon on Thursdays….  John asks that any members who may have “pull” with Los Altos Grill to contact him ASAP.

MARY MARLEY shared updates on the Red Badge Project.  Social fundraisers have raised $3,000, and the LARC board has added $2,500 towards the two benches and plaques in honor of Billy Russell and Lee Lynch at the new Gardner-Bullis Library. 

Club Service and Operations Director, JACK KELLY confirmed the club’s need to upgrade its technology.  It seems that the hooligans that stole club equipment from the Garden House a few weeks ago were listing the items on eBay as “valuable antiques” and “historical pieces”.   Lastly, Jack relayed MATT CABOT’S website update.  It seems that the club website is getting more usage.  Great job in making the site so user-friendly Matt!  

STEVE ANDERSON asked when our website will have the same capability to allow members to pay online with a credit card, as www.playboy.com does.   

Our Youth and Vocational Service Director, JERRY MOISON called on BONNIE BURDETT, who gave a comprehensive update on Partners for New Generations.  More volunteers are needed to mentor and tutor students at our local schools.  As many know, high school places young people at a crossroad.  The advice and guidance provided by members who survived and overcame their own insecurities and embarrassments suffered in high school can help these young people become more confident and make the right decisions. 

Just think, if LARRY CHU had received such powerful advice when he was in high school, he could have followed in his father’s footsteps and run an incredibly successful restaurant instead of winding up as “Crazy Larry”; the town crazy who aimlessly wanders downtown Los Altos with his pet monkey.

International Service Director, COETA CHAMBERS presented a comprehensive update on the International aspect of our club, which included ALLART LIGTENBERG’S commendable projects in Nepal.  His and many other members’ incredibly generous and brave assistance to those that are far less fortunate than even “Crazy Larry” is awe inspiring.  They are the very few who spend their retirement not only helping people in need, but traveling to the most dangerous areas of the world, and providing help that will actually save many lives.  Thank you, Allart.

Past President, JOHN MOSS sought to review the various updates to the club bylaws.  Although John claimed he had created a power point presentation to cover these updates, he did not share it with the club, and claimed either that “his dog ate it” or that “the gremlins caused a technology problem”.  All updates will be listed on the club’s website.  Among the issues discussed:

• It seems that approximately 60 members are not in “good standing” and they need to return to good standing before their parking passes at Shoup Park will be returned.
• Some individual announcements are running too long and have evolved from a brief notification or update into soliloquies.
• The Bylaws now state that those announcements in excess of the maximum time allotted will be met with a burst from an air horn.
• Announcers who continue will be removed from the microphone by SAM PESNER’S famous “Hook”.

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