This Week's Program: 
Mike-Harrigan -- Tesla Electric Car Story and Demo
 

Upcoming Events:
3/15 Gary Latshaw PhD -- Our Changing Climate

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CRES McFALL SAVES THE DAY AGAIN

JOANNA MEDIN's daughter, Callie, a student at Homestead High School, spoke about the Free Hugs Campaign which is sweeping the country and producing good feelings all around.  In this day of Internet isolation, cut-throat competition and generalized bad manners, what could be more refreshing and beneficial to all concerned?  Thank goodness for CRES McFALL, who reminded us of last week's Thunderbolt from Olympus.   Callie, thank you for your gentle bonhomie, but we Rotarians can no longer indulge in any behavior which deviates in any way from the “Mr. Spock” model.  In other words, "No touchee, no feelee, and witnesses all around!".

GOOD HEALTH REQUIRES HARD WORK AND COMMITMENT

KENDRA GJERSETH and SANDY BOZICH announced the kickoff for Relay for Life on March 7th at 7:00 at the Los Altos United Methodist Church for the marathon now set for June 23 and 24.  JEANNIE MacVICAR introduced Linda Ankemy, an oncology nurse at Good Samaritan Hospital, who spoke about Colon Cancer Awareness Month and colon cancer. Colon cancer is 90% preventable if each of us, beginning at age 50 or sooner, if we have a suspect family history, has a colon cancer screening.  Linda recommends a colonoscopy every 10 years.  This year 56,000 souls in the U.S. will die of colon cancer. Monte Sereno has pledged it will become a colon cancer-free zone.   Why not LARC?

WANDER TO RWANDA, ETC

KAlLAS CHIDAMBARAM and DICK HENNING just returned from Rwanda where they participated in the distribution of 1,400 wheelchairs to victims of polio, plus additional distribution of sewing machines and advanced stoves.  Kailas presented our club with a banner from the  Rotary Club of Kigali, Rwanda.  The Rotary Clubs of Los Altos, Fresno and Castro Valley participated in the distribution in Rwanda.  

MICHAEL STADLIN wants you to tell him if you cannot assist at the Art Show set for May 19 and 20, if you can work extra shifts, and if your friends and relatives have volunteered to work, as well.  ROLAND PAYNE announced the District 5170 Tennis Tourney for four people on April 18.

NEWBLOOD

JOHN HAMBLIN announced and presided over the Red-Badge-Pinning­ Ceremony for new Red Badgers, RICH CASEY, formerly retired biotech entrepreneur who just gave birth to another one, and DAVID BERGMAN, realtor, who drove his car into GARY ROSS's building but it wasn't his fault. MARY PROCHNOW, GARY, and JULIE ROSE vouched for the bona fides of our newest members.

This intrepid reporter requests that we be reminded in print by our Emily Vanderbilt as to what our protocol is with regard to standing up and sitting down and also with regard to greeting visiting Rotarians and visiting visitors.

FINEMASTER EXTRAORDINAIRE; IF HE ONLY HAD A MEMORY

Ray Bolger, aka STEVE ANDERSON, fined right and left and demanded that the finees define their lives in three words or less, which they did, including the following:

DAVID BERGMAN: "Two Labs; Wife."

RICHARD CASEY: "Irish-American; Gilroy."

BARRY GROVES: "Clean out garages."

IRISH DICK FOUQUET: "Grandchildren; No dogs."

TODAY'S PROGRAM  “IRISH” JACK KELLY presided over the annual high school speech contest wherein our winner advances to the Area 10 speech contest.  IRISH JACK introduced “The Four Freshmen, Delphine Wartelle, Shefali Luthra, Kuno Choi and Nicole Weymss, all members of the Debate Club of LAHS and MVHS, who spoke about subjects they chose.  CINDY WEMYSS assisted IRISH JACK and beamed proudly as her daughter Nicole spoke.  Shefali won the $100 First Prize after speaking about the Internet's dangers and shortcomings for youth.   

Nicole Weymss	Delphine Wartelle
Kuno Choi	Shefali Luthra

President Sam's contribution:  An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: May I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...May I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police units circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her handbag, pulls out a license and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.